C'est La Vie

Hello again. Or, Hi y’all! Yes, it’s me, Frankie Delano, back at The Star after a hiatus of about six months with no shopping and junking news to crow about and a very long stretch without any yard or garage sales in the Coulee, except for a pre-holiday sale in the former Grand Coulee Liquor Store; and in January, I happened upon an indoor/outdoor unadvertised sale at a downriver home near Elmer City.

For some reason, Black Beauty, the Delano pickup truck, refused to drive past that January sale, probably because the driver, I, caught a glimpse of tables loaded with stuff and a couple of shoppers bent over those tables in what I call the “hunch mode,” which means: with legs and feet in a firm stance (just in case, a shopper tries to push you out of your spot at the heap) you lean forward hunching your shoulders to maximize your reach and with arms outstretched, you let your hands do what hands do best in the hunch-mode, handle all kinds of merchandise with finesse. So, at the next sale that you go to, practice the hunch-mode. It works.

What can I say? The piles blowing in the wind at that Elmer City sale were a familiar and comforting sight, a calling of sorts, so I made my way up the long driveway for a look-see. Was it worth the stop? Of course! Where else could a yard sale fanatic find a half-dozen nearly new beach towels for 50 cents each.

The annual shopping and junking season in the Coulee is on its way as of last Saturday with two sales, both held in Grand Coulee, and one advertised as an estate sale. A crowd of 30 or more shoppers gathered outside the fenced yard on Partello St., waiting for the 9 a.m. opening while eyeballing the stuff set out on several tables, on the grounds and inside a garage. Before 10 a.m., about two-thirds of the hundreds of household items on sale were gone. Frankie D. took a look at a savvy shopper’s find: an old carpenter’s tool box, made of wood with an interior hand tool box and some old stuff like pencils and railroad booklets out of Boston, Mass. and dated 1929. The price of that treasure was a $1.50. Such a deal. Plus, I only saw a couple of shoppers in the hunch mode, both of them had long reaches too.

Let’s move on. When this column appears in The Star, you’ll find some new and different tidbits to ponder, digest and, hopefully, find entertaining. Why, you ask? Here’s the thing. Frankie D. has had an epiphany, not really suddenly, and not a flash-in-the-pan intuition, but more like a three-way light bulb, from 50, 100, and at its brightest 150 watts, so join me next time when we will explore some of the “going’s on” here in the Coulee and more.

And finally, a question. What is a hyper-miler? I have seen a few slowpoke drivers in the Coulee but not many. I wonder what living in the Coulee would be like if quite a few hyper-milers moved here and took over the roadways. I’ll be back to explain about “hyper-miling” and how it we might make it work for us with the summer season just around the corner.