It takes a family

My wife Dorothy has suffered from dementia for the past several years. We have been able to care for her in our home for these past years until recently all the family agreed that the level of care she needed could no longer be provided by me in the home.

It is fortunate that our two grandchildren, Ashley Landeros and Travis Irwin, live here and handled all the details, paperwork, and other needs during this time, always mindful of my feelings and the concurrence of family members who live elsewhere.

We sought a place for this care and were able to find a place in Wilbur because it was close and would allow frequent visits.

It was difficult to find the balance of my wife’s medications, and about a week ago she fell and broke her leg. Ashley saw that she got to the Davenport hospital where x-rays revealed the break in her femur, and she was transported to Sacred Heart in Spokane, where a couple of days later she was operated on. 

Members of the family have been with her on a daily basis.

Hospital rules allow one person to visit a day, except one person can go in with me.

Our great grandchildren who would like to see her aren’t allowed to visit. Trying to alter the rules can bring down wrath from the head nurse. I, for one, don’t want to go there. One of our concerns has been her food. When we are there, we help her eat, but the staff probably doesn’t have the time to help patients eat.

Since the operation, our sons Paul and Nathan have been in to see and be with her.

Then our youngest daughter, Kim, came from Louisiana to stay for a week.

Our oldest daughter, Kathleen, her daughter and husband and baby will be here for a couple of days next week.

Kathleen had purchased a walker for me and it provided me with movement so I could go in several times and see her.

There have been countless decisions to make along the way with the help of Ashley and Travis, with concurrence from the family members.

Dementia is a terrible disease and drains energy and everything from you.

It truly takes the family working together to deal with it.

We have been married 69 years, and it is difficult to realize that the thousands of good times are lost for her.

We are again seeking a suitable place for my wife and at this writing we are still searching.

I owe my strengths to our family members who have become my armor so I can make it from day to day.

I can call each of them, and it renews my strength.

Not only are they our children, but they are my friends.

None of them know where this is headed.

Dorothy celebrated her 88th birthday on April 3, recovering from surgery.